Feel unhappy for the past 2 days..perhaps things werent great around me or i am just asking too much. Am i demanding for super great things to happen to me ? Or i am just looking for some miracle? Or i deserve for what is happening around me?
The future is at my hand. And i shall decide what i want. This is the sentence that everyone would tell me if i tell them what i have on my mind. But the point is, i doesnt know what i want and i couldnt tell anyone what i want because i do not have the courage to tell them what do i want.
Perhaps is the love that is overtaking my courage. The feeling of loosing someone is way too scary for me. Maybe that is the reason I am not brave enough to confront the man that I like. I need to tell him how i felt, i need to let him know that i do not feel the love from him, i need to let him know that i do not feel happy now because i am loving him too much. I need to clear the sky..to remove the thorns from my heart.
Loosing the most precious thing in my life doesnt matter to me because of my feeling on him. I do not mind having it with him but however i do feel guilty towards the other him. I knew he love me lots but i do not see myself fit in with him. I just felt that i should let go off him but i do not want to hurt him this way. How i wish we could just end the relationship by me going overseas to work.
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